


a catastrophe and yet a masterpiece

by mirrorless



Category: Naruto
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Gen, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, Morally Dubious Ninja Science, One-Shot, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 17:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17606156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrorless/pseuds/mirrorless
Summary: "Here," Tsunade interrupts, stepping between the elder shinobi and thrusting two blanket-swaddled bundles at Kagami, who automatically accepts them into the crook of each arm."Congratulations, Uncle," Konoha's chief medic offers shortly, dry as a Suna summer."It's twins."





	a catastrophe and yet a masterpiece

 

"They did _what?_ " Kagami demands flatly, with enough burgeoning malice behind it that Hiruzen actually flinches away, almost bumping into the wall of the restricted hospital corridor before clearing his throat and attempting to explain again.

"It's the end result of illicit genetic experimentation. Been going on for _years_ apparently - and _without_ my knowledge or approval, I might add."

The former Hokage sighs and runs a hand back over his receding hairline.

"I'm sorry, my friend. I know you have personal reasons for never _intentionally_ passing on your bloodline, but I must inform you that, of the few surviving specimens that were recovered -"

"Here," Tsunade interrupts, stepping between the elder shinobi and thrusting two blanket-swaddled bundles at Kagami, who automatically accepts them into the crook of each arm.

"Congratulations, Uncle," Konoha's chief medic offers shortly, dry as a Suna summer.

"It's twins."

Kagami's entire world narrows to the infants he now holds; the one with the trying-to-curl shock of black hair stares up at him assessingly with their tiny fist stuffed in their mouth, while the other, brunet and clearly done with the nonsense of the entire affair, continues to snore softly, a minute mucous bubble oozing out of their left nostril.

The instant, impotent yet overpowering rage at the immensity and intimacy of the violation keeps the hallway silent for a long moment until Kagami manages to finally rasp, " _Sandaime-sama_... You should be aware that I intend to _eviscerate_ your precious little student at earliest opportunity."

Hiruzen grimaces like someone just dropped the weight of the hat back on his head as Tsunade snorts and places a supportive hand on the Uchiha's shoulder.

"And _you_ should be aware that there's a growing line you'll have to wait in for the privilege - should anyone even be able to _find_ the slippery bastard."

Her exasperated sigh sounds worn thin to Kagami's ear as she gestures at the children.

"These two baby bloodline cocktails _are_ yours, Uncle," she reiterates softly, as though trying to prepare him for another devastating blow.

"Best guess is that Orochimaru frolicked through decades' worth of sealed, private medical records, found some _samples_ among the Nidaime's old laboratory specimens and..."

She sighs again, with even greater feeling, then shakes her golden head and lifts it to meet Kagami's eyes steadily.

"You must know, it's a combination of your own and _Senju_ DNA; their other genetic donor is -"

"Tobirama," Kagami guesses aloud, interrupting in a slightly shrill whisper.

It's the single ridiculous possibility that could make this situation any more absurd, that these little ones could be unasked for miracles created in the image of himself and someone so dear and decades lost.

Tsunade bites the corner of her lip as she nods, and it's all Kagami can do to step back and sink numbly down into a nearby chair, still carefully cradling an infant in each arm.

Silence falls again in the private corridor, save for the low burbling and gentle snoring from Kagami's tiny burdens.

Hiruzen steps closer, and if he tries to fumble an apology again Kagami is going to pettily kick the Sandaime Hokage right in the shin.

Ignorance of the situation does not exactly constitute _fault_ , no matter how bitter the Uchiha's thoughts are turning, though Kagami rather hopes he'd somehow know it if his own former students had abandoned sense enough to try their hands at cultivating a genetic hodgepodge of helpless children in subterranean vats.

A door creaks open somewhere down the hall, and Hiruzen and Tsunade turn as the Yondaime Hokage approaches, a softly squeaking green blanket secured in his own arms.

"Sensei," he addresses Kagami with a tight smile, the word tinged with some fragile relief.

"You seem to be taking things as well as can be expected - I don't see anything on fire."

 _"Yet,"_ Kagami grits out, now focused with vague horror on the wriggling blanket in the younger shinobi's careful embrace.

"Dan, _please_ don't tell an old man he's become a father _thrice_ over in one day."

"Oh _no_ ," Tsunade growls before the current Hokage can either confirm or deny Kagami's suspicions, sweeping over to her partner and deftly plucking the baby from his arms to present it for Kagami's inspection.

"No, _this_ one hasn't a drop of Uchiha blood - but does anything about him seem _familiar_?"

There is grief like a razor's edge in Tsunade's tone as Kagami blinks at the babe. The fine wisp of hair is a bit lighter, but combine the wide hazel eyes regarding him warily and the bright rosy spots on the boy's cheeks and Kagami's heart is suddenly in his throat, choking him with the old guilt of failed oaths.

He has seen this child buried once before.

Tsunade lets out a bark of bitter laughter as she hands the little boy back to Dan, gazing down at the green bundle with an expression that is equal measures of longing and revulsion.

Were his arms not otherwise occupied, Kagami would be dragging his fingers through his greying hair in frustration.

And he'd thought _Tobirama_ had gravely dubious methods of dealing with the terrible weight of personal loss.

"As I said," Tsunade reiterates, turning again to Kagami with a sharp click of heels and a bright, false smile as behind her the Yondaime softly coos down at the near-perfect clone of her little brother, "there is a line to gut Orochimaru - and _I'm_ first."

Silence falls in the corridor again, save for the soft sounds emanating from the little ones, and the outrage and sheer panic dominating Kagami's mind finally allow a bit of room for contemplation.

The highest ranking shinobi of Konoha are gathered in this hallway. These little _indiscretions_ could easily be rectified, in methods varying in mercy, and this issue might be put behind them all like a particularly disturbing nightmare - if he so insists, Kagami never need see these children again.

As Hiruzen had touched on earlier, there _are_ numerous deeply personal reasons that Kagami had chosen to never have children of his own - shared only in quiet conversation with his beloved as they lay together enjoying stolen moments in Tobirama's rumpled bed, foolishly attempting to plot a course for their future in spite of the yawning uncertainty of the world.

He has even, at long last, made his tentative peace with Kumo, but _this_ is a transgression Kagami cannot forgive, despite dusty past promises to protect the wayward Orochimaru as one of the future inheritors of Konohagakure.

Kagami knows his own heart.

He grits his teeth, casting a hollow glare at Hiruzen, who is carefully not looking at him.

And those who have long held a place in it have ferreted out some of its most damning weaknesses.

How precious might the ill-created offspring of Senju Tobirama be to Konoha?

The two Hokage and Tsunade could have handled this incident with Kagami being none the wiser, but _they_ know that now that _he_ knows of their existence, he can never forget these little ones, cannot abandon them, or even try to justify serving only as some benevolent yet absent benefactor.

Plop the infants in his arms, name them as his own and Tobirama's legacy - and the path has been immutably set; he will accept and protect these children, guide them through the world as best he can, and when he inevitably fails...

Kagami sighs from his very bones and looks down at the blankets he holds, the two sets of curious, innocent eyes blinking back up at him.

Well... Tobirama will probably forgive him that particular descent into Uchiha madness, so long as Konoha does not bear its brunt.

Just as the abrupt, panicked thought of how in the world he might train up a child, or _children_ , gifted with the mastery of water strikes Kagami's mind, there comes a sudden, muffled noise of dismay from behind a nearby closed room door, the sound of a chair scraping the floor, and -

Danzō steps into the hall, his disgruntled muttering trailing off when he sees those gathered in the corridor, a generous dollop of off-white spit-up coating his front, and _yet another_ happily burbling little blanket balanced in the crook of one arm.

Kagami can't help himself - it's either burst into helpless laughter or break down in bitter tears, and his old friend, dignity clearly affronted, sniffs haughtily as he deftly accepts a smirking Hiruzen's proffered clean handkerchief.

"Just what this world needs, Uchiha - _two_ _more_ of you."

Danzō, the grizzled veteran shinobi, obviously flinches as the spiky-haired infant he holds belches loudly in seeming agreement, and Kagami's answering laugh echoes down the hall.

 

  
_"Ours,"_ Tobirama mutters again, without any less bewilderment than the first two repetitions, looking from Kagami down to the boys at the Uchiha's sides who are openly gaping up at him and then back, and Kagami wonders if that dearly missed face accurately mirrors his own from nearly a decade previous.

Kagami tilts his head to indicate behind the Senju on the expansive and now obviously structurally unsound rooftop, where Hiruzen stands mournfully by as one of the young Hokage candidates, in between casting flagrantly admiring glances at the back of the reanimated Nidaime, securely seals away what little remains of the treacherous Orochimaru.

"It would seem the secrets of your theoretical and forbidden jutsus did not remain as hidden as you'd hoped."

Tobirama snorts in disgust, arms crossing over his chest. "That damned stripling - thinking to use me as leverage against the village in order to reclaim the results of his foul experiments, and yet somehow not remembering that the inventor of any jutsu must _always_ know how to counter it, should it be turned against them..."

He shakes his head. "Foolish."

There is a poorly stifled titter from Kagami's left, and Tobirama blinks down in the direction it came from.

Shisui, so strangely struck _shy_ , quickly bites his lip and ever-so-subtly shifts a half-step behind his living parent, while Yamato at Kagami's right hip stands silent and statue-still, dark eyes wide and full of awe below his happuri. They have been raised on stories of this man, ones as truthful as can be told (so long as the one telling was their _father_ ), in as loving and fair and descriptive a manner as Kagami knows how to impart, but still - memories alone.

Until now.

Kagami places a reassuring hand on a shoulder of each of his children as he meets Tobirama's eyes with a helpless sort of smile.

 _"Ours,"_ he confirms.

Even were he to use the Sharingan, Kagami could not track the terrible flurry of emotions that race across Tobirama's face, but he can tell almost exactly when the sudden flash of clarity strikes, the understanding that there will be no boon of time to wear away the intimate pain of the crueler edges of this truth - Edo Tensei was never meant to last.

Barring the potential intervention of any other rogue necromancers, this will be the only time Tobirama is allowed with them until they are all reunited in whatever awaits in the hereafter.

The reanimation, clearly having come to a difficult decision, swallows hard and takes a deep, unnecessary breath before slowly folding down on one knee, letting his arms fall carefully open; welcoming, but also non-insistent.

"Children..."

The address is strained, thick as it struggles out of Tobirama's throat, but it has barely hit the air when Yamato surges forward, wrapping his arms as far around Tobirama's chest as they can reach, face pressing into the soft edge of the Nidaime's resurrected ruff.

Tobirama has nearly an entire blessed second to process the fact that his _son_ is _hugging_ him before Shisui lets out a scandalized yelp and leaps after his brother, the momentum knocking the three of them over onto the rooftop in a giggling pile.

Kagami manages an honest chuckle himself, despite the tightness in his throat, and his eyes burn as the image sears itself into his memory before suspiciously blurring.

 

  
Kagami very slowly lifts his head from the kitchen table and rubs a hand over his eyes before glowering again at the bit of paper crinkled in his right fist.

Unsurprisingly, the damn scribble of his son's writing _hasn't_ miraculously changed since last he'd skimmed it.

 _"Married!"_ , he groans, shaking the scrap of paper at the summons who'd just flown in the kitchen window to deliver it.

The young crow tilts her head and blinks up at him, clearly failing to understand his concern.

 _"Married,"_ Kagami repeats, with great, disbelieving emphasis, "to a _foreign Jinchūriki_ , who he's known for _less than a week_."

Umai's answering squawk is only moderately sympathetic as she bounces across the table and helps herself to the remnants of his discarded toast.

Kagami's silvery grey head meets worn polished wood once again.

As if he needed further proof that Shisui is so very much _his_ child.

Happen across one of the deadliest individuals in the elemental nations and instead of fleeing on sight like any rational person, your fool heart decides instead that they are the most extraordinary, beautiful thing it's ever encountered and instantly declares everlasting devotion.

Somewhere Tobirama is laughing, he's sure.

At least the fiery Academy instructor Yamato is courting is slightly less likely to level the village, and _of course_ Shisui would manage to somehow out-scandalize his older cousin eloping with Sakumo's boy just a few months previous.

"Why couldn't he have inherited my lack of stature instead?" Kagami grumbles against the table.

Shisui had tried to sweeten the news with a pseudo-pious line about Konoha benefitting from the presence of a _third_ Jinchūriki, more to help Kagami sell the idea to their Head of Clan in his absence than an attempt to convince his father of the soundness of his decision, Kagami knows.

And yes, the Godaime Hokage, as well as Tsunade's skilled apprentice, hosts of the Kyūbi and Sanbi respectively, might indeed welcome a runaway vessel into their midst, but Kagami is certain that Shisui's new relationship was established with the betterment of Konoha in mind just about as much as his own involvement with the dreaded Senju Tobirama had been so long ago - a convenient afterthought.

Kagami sits up with a sigh, rubbing a worn hand over his face again before carefully pushing up from the table as swiftly as his knees will allow.

Shisui has chosen a path, and Kagami can only hope that, though impulsive, it's also been chosen wisely; it falls on him now to inform Yamato, currently leading a session with a young genin squad in the training area, of their unexpected new in-law, and to prepare the clan and the leaders of the village for the couple's imminent arrival.

Umai, apparently finished with Kagami's breakfast, lights on his shoulder as he steps out the door onto the porch and selects one of the ornate walking sticks Yamato had so thoughtfully provided to help make completing a day's errands a bit easier.

"A small benefit to becoming one of those pain-in-the-ass elder types," Kagami confides to the crow as they head down the garden path, "is the petty joy in watching people strain to remain deferential to the crotchety old coot who's just gleefully dropped a mountain of unwelcome information on them."

And Fugaku's eye has only _just_ stopped noticeably twitching when anyone uses the word "married" in his presence.

Such a shame.

Kagami's bright laughter follows Umai as she soars away, up and over the Hokage monument and on toward the rising sun.

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song "Whatever It Takes" by Imagine Dragons.
> 
> Inspired by posts on blackkatmagick's previous Tumblr account - Danzō's unexpected blessing is later named Kotetsu.


End file.
